The urge to write is a funny thing.
And so is not having any money.
Its sort of funny anyway.
Especially the various and creative ways the Universe keeps coming up with to delay my receipt of well-earned legal fees and other monies. So after overdrawing my account and scoring a butt-load of overdraft fees (again), I decided to look at it a little deeper.
What is really going on here, Kelli?
A response came:
I want to write.
In the book Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Riike (which was recently recommended to me by a friend and yogalawyer blog reader), Riike says of the urge to write:
There is only one thing you should do. Go into yourself. Find out the reason that commands you to write. See if it has spread its roots into the very depths of your heart. Confess to yourself whether you would have to die if you were forbidden to write. This most of all: ask yourself in the most silent hour of your night, “must I write?” Dig into yourself for a deep answer. And if this answer rings out in assent, if you meet this solemn question with a strong, simple, “I must,” then build your life in accordance with this necessity.
I must.
What happens when we have an urge, a voice in our heads that challenges us to do something, and we don’t do it?
What happens if we do?
I recently read an anecdote about Jerry Seinfeld from a sponsored Facebook post link (I am sure for purposes of this story that it is completely legitimate and totally true). In it, Jerry Seinfeld’s fail-proof success system is revealed:
Doing something every single day is easier said than done, and Seinfeld had created a system to force himself to write every single day which ultimately lead to his success. His Red X System is quite simple:
Get a calendar… Hang it on a wall that you see every day.
Get a red marker.
For each day that you complete the task, put a big red X over that day. Seinfeld stated that after a few days you’ll have built a chain of X’s. The chain will get longer and longer and you won’t want to break it by not completing the task. Then your job becomes simple: don’t break the chain.
Maybe there is wisdom in the simplicity: if you are called to do something, whether it be writing or running or speaking Italian or whatever, do something toward that end everyday.
So money has been a problem. Legal fees have been held up for various reasons and I have been using it as an excuse to not write:
How can I waste time writing when I need to make money?
Yet when I ask for an answer about my money situation from my higher self, all I keep hearing is,
I want to write.
So yesterday morning I got up and outlined this blog. Less than 30 minutes later, I got an email that a legal fee that has been held up for months came through.
Wow. Has blocking my urge to write also blocked my ability to receive abundance? Could it be that by satisfying my innate urge and allowing myself to write, even and especially when money is tight, that I am opening myself up to receive? Is there a connection?
Fuck I’d love to be a billionaire.
I just heard about the Quickbooks billion-dollar bracket challenge. Basically, Warren Buffet and Quickbooks are putting up a billion dollars to anyone who can pick all the winning teams in the NCAA basketball tournament. According to a report from Espn News:
John Diver, director of product development for ESPN Fantasy, said not a single bracket among the almost 30 million entries submitted to ESPN’s Tournament Challenge over the past 16 years has been perfect.
When asked whether it was possible to score a perfect bracket, Diver replied,
“I don’t want to say it’s impossible…but it’s basically impossible.”
Apparently, the odds are about 1 in 9 quintillion.
I’m going for it. I want to be a billionaire. And following in the footsteps of countless ESPN Fantasy bracket winners before me,
I’m gonna base my bracket picks on friends’ alma maters, my favorite colors, and my favorite team mascots.
And I’m going to keep writing. Everyday. I’m going to use Seinfeld’s system. He’s a billionaire, right?
So I’ve got that to fall back on, if my bracket loses.
You can draw a big fat red X over today on the calendar, Jerry.