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Spring has Sprung

Sew What’s New. (That used to be a show on PBS. Back in the ’80s. About sewing. Seriously, check it out.)

So what’s new with me? I’m living the dream.

It’s Spring; there was a powerful new moon on Sunday (maybe the most powerful one of the year, those in the know tell me);

and ducklings and puppies and kittens are everywhere.


Its fucking Spring. And life is good.

Sort of like the Winter of my discontent has made way for the Spring of my…content…ment?

Something like that.

I’m feeling a lot like this guy: Slomo.


Have you seen the video about him? It’s worth a watch.

Slomo was a self-described “asshole” before he changed his life. He practiced medicine as a neurologist for decades before abruptly giving it all up to listen to his heart.  Listening to his heart happens to mean living in a studio apartment on the beach in San Diego and rollerblading in what appears to be slow motion for hours and hours on end. He lives an extremely simple existence. He says:

Once we see the light, we know that there will be no satisfaction until we experience a kind of divinity – something as close to divinity as man can experience – and I had an opportunity to get in that. When I start skating it happens to me…I’m just trying to get to the end of my life without becoming an asshole again.

Some people call him crazy. I’m coming to believe that sometimes enlightenment looks a lot like being crazy.

And I’ve been chasing enlightenment for a while. What does it even mean? Maybe the interweb can help.

Here is the description of enlightenment I got from Wiki How, “How to Become Enlightened”:

To become enlightened, know that there are no special virtues to acquire. Simply remain conscious.

Many wiki-thanks for that. I also connect with – so I thought I’d share – this simple formula for enlightenment that I read somewhere. It implies it is a moment-to-moment choice that each of us is capable of accessing at any time:

Enlightenment = a relaxed body + free attention.

That’s how I feel inside the Total Zen floatation chamber. My body is completely relaxed, without the tension in my neck and shoulders that I often carry in my non-isolation-chamber-waking-existence. My mind is open and free to roam; it doesn’t fixate on a particular thought. Afterward I feel uplifted; completely relaxed and yet totally exhilarated. And did I mention that I was quoted in Orlando Magazine about it?! They did a write-up on Total Zen.

So yeah, I’m Kelli Hastings. Maybe you’ve heard of me. You may have seen me quoted in such places as “my own website” and “Orlando Magazine.”

Back to “Enlightenment,” which is such a loaded term. Aren’t we really all just looking to be happy with what we have? To stop craving and wanting and just be at peace like Slomo? You could call him “enlightened” or you could just call him “happy.”

I recently read an article where a Hospice worker outlines her top Five Regrets of the Dying. She says that:

“Fear of change had [the dying] pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.”

More specifically, their top 5 regrets are: 

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Sounds a lot like what Slomo stands for.

So what about me? This is about me, after all. Its Spring. Yay! I’m in the process of becoming a billionaire and I’m writing every day. I’ve taken off a couple of Sundays, but I’m ok with that, cuz my chain of Big Red Xs is looking pretty sweet:

redx (1)

I’ve  let go of my billion-dollar-bracket-plan as the means to obtaining my goal. Luckily, I’ve had some real insight into this whole affluence thing in the last couple weeks via Southpark’s Underpants Gnomes 3-part, fool-proof plan for achieving wealth:


Let’s look at the process a little closer:

Phase 1: Steal underpants.

The Gnomes felt a strong, other-worldly drive to collect underpants. Maybe underpants are a metaphor for whatever action your higher Self is driving you to do. For Slomo, its roller blading. For me, its writing and some other sweet stuff.

Phase 2: ?

The Gnomes weren’t real clear on Phase 2. Maybe the point is that we don’t have to understand Phase 2; we don’t have to understand the process by which we will achieve our dreams. We simply have to dream and and work at Phase 1.

Phase 3: Profit.

The Gnomes saw clearly their goal: Profit. Maybe profit is a metaphor for abundance; for the achievement of your dream, whatever it is. Monetary wealth can be a part of it; and yet true abundance is beyond money wealth.

So the Gnomes teach us to conceive our dreams and then listen to what our hearts tell us to do for the first step. Maybe its as simple as writing everyday. Or rollerblading.  Or playing piano. Or teaching. Or stealing underpants. Or whatever you are passionate about.

Then forget about Phase 2. Forget about the details. Just get out of the way and let your dreams unfold. Let your riches come.

I’m ready for my riches. Its no secret I’ve had financial problems and relationship problems, and I’ve realized it all stems from the same clog in the flow. Deepak Chopra describes it in his book: “Creating Affluence“:

To graciously receive is an expression of the dignity of giving. Money is like blood, it must flow. Holding on to it causes sludging. In order to grow, it must flow. Otherwise it gets blocked and like clotted blood, it can cause damage. Money is life energy we exchange and use as a result of the service to provide for the universe. And in order to keep it coming to us, we must keep it circulating.

I’ve had a clog in the flow of money; and, more importantly, a clog in the flow of love. I haven’t been generous with my wealth or my love. I’ve been hoarding based on the belief that there isn’t enough. I project outward my excuses for loving conditionally, blaming those I love for the reasons I can’t be fully myself.

I love Don Miguel Ruiz’s (author of The Four Agreements”) metaphor of the “magical kitchen” that he describes in  his book “The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship“:

People learn to become selfish and to close their hearts so tightly. They are starving for love, not knowing that the heart is a magical kitchen. Your heart is a magical kitchen. Open your heart. Open your magical kitchen, and refuse to walk around the world begging for love. In your heart is all the love you need. Your heart can create any amount of love, not just for yourself, but for the whole world. You can give your love with no conditions; you can be generous with your love because you have a magical kitchen in your heart. Then all those starving people who believe the heart is closed will always want to be near you for your love. What makes you happy is love coming out of you. And if you are generous with your love, everyone is going to love you. You are never going to be alone if you are generous. If you are selfish, you are always going to be alone, and there is no one to blame but you. Your generosity will open all the doors, not your selfishness. Selfishness comes from poverty in the heart, from the belief that loves is not abundant. We become selfish when we believe that maybe tomorrow we won’t have any pizza. But when we know that our heart is a magical kitchen, we are always generous, and our love is completely unconditional.

In the past I have guarded my heart tightly; afraid to let my love flow freely. I’ve done the same thing with my money. I think its all the same mechanism for me. Somewhere along the lines, probably in my childhood, I conceived a belief in lack; that there wasn’t going to be enough unless I held some back.

Now its Spring and its a time for new intentions. I’m resolving to be generous with my love and my money; and to graciously receive.

I’m channeling Slomo and the Underpants Gnomes’ philosophy of life. Its a little scary, like my guest blogger, Maya, recently expressed.

And yet, why else are we here on Earth if not to follow our hearts, our passion, our dharma? Why are we here if not to “live the dream” and to learn from it?

Let’s do this.

Who is with me!

I’d love to hear about your own quest to live your passion. Please comment or contact me.

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